


Secrets

by striderbeats



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Adolescent Sexuality, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kink Meme, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-02 01:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/363753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/striderbeats/pseuds/striderbeats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Dirk confesses his feelings for Roxy, the girl throws herself into denial and runs away. Dirk later finds out why.<br/>(Request on the Kink Meme)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at putting a work up on here. It's not dead yet guys, just been slow at writing it!

It was a scheduled part of her day to flirt with the boy at this point, running like clockwork and unavoidable on both parties. Stopping by his locker before the left together, to lean against it after the final bell to leave had rung. Giving him a heavily lidded look, one she’s practiced in the mirror to perfect, she leans over in an attempt to look alluring and exceptionally feminine. Flirting is an art, she’ll have you know. It’s something Roxy works hard to perfect. And while she knows her advances are pointless, they’re really all in good fun at this point. She feels the teen could use the attention ever since his crush wound up accepting Jane’s advances first. After all, it was kind of her fault Dirk never got to confess to Jake.  


They were cute together; both Roxy and Dirk had to admit. They discussed the two being together often; it was a common topic for them. Honestly, the boy never seemed too bothered by it, and most of the time he was accusing Roxy of being the jealous one on losing Jane. It’s to be insisted though, that her feelings for both, Jane and Jake, is totes platonic. She never has the guts to say she’s sorry for how things turned out, for how Jane beat Dirk to the punch. If she hadn’t given her friend the heads up, the two would’ve probably never gotten together. It was her obligatory duty as the heiress’ ‘bffsie 4 lyfe.’ Sometimes Roxy wondered if Dirk was mad at her for giving Jane that extra push… but if he was, he never said it. He was good about that, sometimes her flirting was real in the sense that yes, she could love him very easily. For now, it would just be under the guise of friendly banter, as long, manicured fingers ran through his gelled hair. “Hey sexy.”  


“You’re drunk at school, what a pleasant and admittedly unsurprising development. What is it you need?” There’s always a cool and calculating tone to his voice, always annunciating as if concentrating heavily on what is said. His words are always controlled, he is always in control. She likes it.  


He stands tall as he finishes gathering his books, poor dear having a bottom locker. Sometimes when he stands tall next to her, she curses her height as he stands a good few inches shorter. She stopped wearing heels just for that reason. He’ll hit his growth spurt one day though, she’s sure. Roxy has seen Strider’s brother, and if that’s anything to go by, Dirk will definitely turn out to be a ‘hottie.’ Not that he wasn’t one already, oh no. Strider was quite the attractive young man as was, his features just hadn’t hardened out quite as expected yet. A late bloomer, not quite reaching full potential yet (even though he sometimes lamented this fact seeing as how he had just hit seventeen), but that was always a good thing, right? Weren’t they meant to be the most attractive? “Oh, I don’t need nothing too much… just you.” A wink, long lashes (fake. They bring out her eyes more and make them appear bigger. She likes them). There’s a fairly good chance he’s rolling his eyes behind those shades, but he doesn’t tell her to go away. He never does.  


They linger there a few moments longer to talk as the hallways clear out, “oh really now? Is that all you’re looking for? A slice of this hunk cake that is myself? I don’t know if you’re ready for that amount of physical attractiveness to be in your wake, Lalonde. Who knows what kind of consequences may come from it.”  


“Oooh, sounds dangerous. I like dangerous.”  


The two of them start moving now, walking alongside each other, as they would continue to do until they reached their separating pathways to go home. “I bet you do, what with that cushy life you lead, I bet a bit of danger is just the kind of spice you need in your life.” It’s obvious he’s trying to be taller than she is as they go, standing straight with his head held high and chin out. A smile graces dark colored lips as she catches on, though admittedly there’s not much to catch onto. They always play this game, and she brings her head down demurely and sashays a bit into her walk to give her a little less height. It’s not her fault she was graced with model heights, just good genes. Usually she holds this fact over guys, standing tall in a cocky manner. Amazonian woman, maybe. Sexy, definitely. Dirk is different though. She lets him lead. “Oh, but I do. Just oh so much.” Accentuating this point by bumping her hip against his, he still stands tall and doesn’t stumble. In fact, he bumps back lightly, anticipating the move from how often these types of conversations are held. He has too pretty of hips for a guy. A great ass to boot.  


Roxy sometimes complains with jealousy. She is tall and lanky and a stick. Women would kill for an ass like his. He seemed to know this too, and flaunt it around almost with those tight pants of his. The tease.  


“Sometimes I do wonder how you manage to complete a school day without being found out for being a complete drunken fool… It truly is a mystery to me, as much as I hate to admit.” He really does hate to admit it, where knowing things is his specialty. For Dirk Strider to be in the dark on something? Blasphemy on his lips, blasphemy to his name, blasphemy to the world.  


“Magics.”  


“Dumb luck.”  


This is one of those days where they can walk in a comfortable silence, no words needing to be said. They’re practically having a conversation with their breathing and in their heads. At least, on Roxy’s part she is. Creating little thoughts and ideas on how their conversation would go. ‘How was your day?’ ‘Tiring.’ ‘How so?’ ‘Normal reasons.’ ‘I hope it gets better.’ ‘I hope you get sober.’ Roxy laughs with her mental conversation, and Dirk doesn’t question why the laughter. He seems to know why, and he lets out a low breathy laugh as well. Which is nice seeing as how he rarely laughs, and when he does it’s very controlled. Roxy wished he would let loose sometimes, that’d be nice to see. Her laughs are more light and airy, as she has practiced with her vocal coach often. Sometimes they turn into deep guffaws when something is just that funny. No one questions it though, they only laugh harder at her odd noises. Everyone has their little quirks after all. Like Jane’s snorts, and when sometimes that’s all her laughter is, her snorting and trying to breathe. Jake’s is very melodic, and something to be envious of. He’s very unabashed with it, very easy to laugh with, and Roxy could see how he was easy to be smitten with the boy. She wished she was as easy to fall in love with.  


She tried to garner the attention of one particular person, but of course give her the luck of falling for a gay man. It was okay though, they still enjoyed their friendship. It was nice spending time with him in this way… Their walks home lead them both down the same way for most of the way. Just them.  


Jane’s father was nice enough to come pick her up from school (to which Roxy would sometimes insist they pause on their treks home so she could stare in admiration of the man. Such man grit! So handsome), and Jake went in the opposite direction of them, biking to and from school.  


Dirk lived in the heart of the city, in a high rise apartment that was filled to the brim with useless junk that his brother collected. It wasn’t too far of a walk to get to it from the school, and that’s where Roxy joined him. Walking alongside him to talk and discuss their days before splitting off to take the subway out and a taxi the rest of the way home to her doorstep. Her mother was a private woman, and Roxy refused private schooling in favor of the further out (but far more worth it) public school.  


It was their journey home, her scheduled flirt time, and he never really seemed to mind. “You look very nice today, Dirk.” Drawing out the word, ‘very,’ she made sure to do the eyelash flutter, another thing practiced with precision in the mirror. He made sure to make an annoyed sound. “Thank you, Lalonde. I work very hard to appear as presentably of a person to my drunken friend. It’s practically my life’s goal to be told I look nice by a drunkard, how did you know? Holy fucking shit is my life now complete.”  


Huffing slightly, she pulled back, going to the side and walking at a further distance from the teen. Rolling her eyes, “no need to be a dick, Dirk! God!”  


She’s walking beside him and close by once more in only a matter of seconds.  


Their split off comes up soon after, and another thin smile as she waves in a way she hopes shows grace and starts to walk towards the subway entrance. “I’ll see you tomorrow, stay handsome!” Light laugh, wink, swish of the hips… This is something they practically practiced every day. It goes flawlessly each time and it’s almost down to an art… hell it was practically a science; their split off. But today was different. It goes differently from all the others before it.  


He grabs her wrist, and tells her to wait.  


Roxy was frozen, with a thousand things going through her head as her breath catches in her throat. There was a mix of anxiety, and fear mostly. Dirk has never really touched her before. Not outside of light shoves and touches. Even when Jake and Jane started dating and Dirk came to her, she couldn’t bring herself to let him feel her awkward form and to hold him. Her eyes are wide, and locked on his hand around her wrist. He knows that she doesn’t like physical contact nearly as much as one would think, which is well enough for him, since insufferable prick extraordinaire dislikes touching as well. So this is odd. Not something she knew how to react to. He knows that touching is something usually reserved for between her and Jane… and that’s because there are no secrets between best friends.  


After a long pause (or perhaps it was quite short, she didn’t know. It felt like hours to her), she notices that her mouth is hanging open a slight bit in a completely unfeminine way. She closes it with a gulp, and brings her scared eyes to his hidden ones. Cursing his unfair advantage over the situation, she finally manages out a questioning, “what?” It’s short in its breath, and doesn’t even seem to be a full syllable, something she once more curses, but he understands what exactly she said, and starts talking.  


“I kind of like you, in a more than friends sort of way.”  


If anyone were to ever ask, she would swear up and down that her heart stopped then and there. “…what?” This one was even more pathetic than the last one, barely a word as it strangled its way out of her lips. It was a husky breath more than anything, and it worried her.  


He kept a cool face though, insufferably calm and collected like he always was. Her heart started up again. “Yeah, I mean, it’s sort of to be expected. You’re kind of just always there for me; I guess the thought of my liking you should have been pretty obvious. You’ve helped me with a lot.”  


“But..” She’s gained more control over her breathing, this was a full word. “What about, Jake?” There was still a slight tremor to her words, and it was mostly due to her shifting her position. Roxy brought herself to full height, almost forcing herself to be as towering over him as she was. The girl was needing that control over the situation, it was needed to help keep herself together. Her hand, still with his rather slender (but strong) fingers around her wrist, began to shake. Feelings conflicting themselves, not sure to be flattered, happy, scared, terrified… what did this mean? What did his apparent feelings for her mean about her looks? Her personality? He liked men! And…she.. she wasn’t a man..!  


Dirk let out a heavy sigh and tensed his face; trying to keep his own control over the situation, with the both of them battling to be in charge. “Rox,” demanding and short tone, he was being serious. It was always serious with him when he spoke to her in such a personal manner, that’s something Strider rarely did after all. Be personal. “That was over a year ago… Give me more credit than that.”  


Pursing her lips and furrowing her brows, “it may have happened over a year ago, but I know you Dirk. You’ve come to me about this all, and I know you weren’t over it a year ago.” Shaking her head as she said that, trying to accentuate her point. It’s hard to accept that this was sincere when she had been the one to metaphorically hold him through his depression. Was she some sort of really late rebound? Did he truly like her? Was it all just his own loneliness? Was it real? But… how could he like **her**?  


Dirk was getting frustrated with her reaction, she could see the thick, signature Strider brows furrowing, “sometimes people have to learn to move on, and realize that someone’s not going to like them back.” Releasing his grip on her wrist, she pulled it to her chest as if the touch had been burning her the whole time. “Don’t tell me you’re going to do this to me too? I’m laying myself out here, Rox, I really do like you. You’re attractive, you’re nice, you’re a bit of a handful and annoying as fuck, but I still like hanging out with you. I think that says something.”  


“But…” It didn’t add up. He seemed genuinely distressed by her reaction, but it just didn’t make sense!  


Starting to act fairly scared now, afraid of rejection and heart break once more. “But, what?” His voice was a bit higher than usual in his distress, losing some of his control now. They were both losing their control, though. As Roxy pulled into herself, lanky limbs close to her and hunching slightly, no longer trying to tower over his figure. Dirk’s body had deflated and his facial features had softened in an almost baby-faced way.  


“But you’re gay!”  


The words shocked them both, and quickly, Roxy made her way down and into the subway out of fear of retaliation or Dirk’s reaction. The teen was lingering behind in a sort of state of shock and she didn’t know if she should care or not as her eyes started tearing up. It was too late though, time to be boarding the train to her stop, and she was thankful for it as she slipped on, and slid down into a seat.  


That was stupid, she was stupid… fuck, that wasn’t what she should’ve said or how she should’ve went about that, but.. she panicked! The girl didn’t bother worrying about her mascara as she started to cry though, pulling off the fake lashes and tossing them haphazardly in her bag, Roxy buried her face into her palms as the train pulled away.  


While above ground, taking in slow deep breaths, Dirk clenched his fists in despair over another rejection.


	2. Cope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this! It's odd, I actually had this chapter done but I didn't realize it???? Um, I didn't really have a chance to go over it like I usually do. So please forgive me! If I've said anything offensive with this chapter, let me know.
> 
> God, I have to find the original kink meme link of this...

By the time she got home and entered through the door, her tears had stopped and she thought more clearly on what had just happened. It’s funny, how things can suddenly go from ‘end of the world’ to being ‘okay.’ Roxy ignored the noises her mother made in the kitchen as she made her way upstairs and to her bedroom (like her mother could cook, anyway. She was more likely making a mess of things before giving in to order something). Shutting the door behind her, the girl made her way over to her mirror immediately.

Looking in it in a scrutinizing manner, she started to wonder a large question. Did she not pass?

Her name is Roxy Lalonde, and she was a young woman who attended high school and had a lovely social life with lovely friends. It had been years since she went by the name Romulus, and 7 months since she had started HRT. The changes were obvious! Right?

Standing back a bit, she criticized her every feature. Luckily for her, she had already been graced with full lips, and a softer face. It started to harden out the past year, but as if she would allow that to happen! Roxy ran her fingers through her hair; bangs covered her forehead to add to the softness of her face. She took meticulous care of it to be sure it was full and had that little flip that she enjoyed the look of. Lalonde’s had such straight and boring hair, but not her! The girl made sure hers had a curl to it; a little more… oomph! Make up streaked her face from crying on the way home, luckily people in this area didn’t care about others, and no one questioned her. It was fine enough. The cab driver she had hailed looked prepared to, but he settled for, “whatever it is, give them hell.”

It was obvious that he was looking to gain a laugh, so she did so politely. Though the man’s kindness did cheer her up, and let her start thinking on things a bit more clearly.

Her make-up was still a wreck, and the girl wiped at the smudges to hopefully get what she could off. Pausing afterwards to look at her reflection to continue on what had given her away, was it her eyes? She had rather narrow, eyes. Short eyelashes, she was sure to always wear fake ones though! Was it her nose? It was a bit larger than most girls, but not obnoxiously so! Her chin, while she had a strong jawline, was still fairly rounded! Thankfully her mother took her for laser hair removal once facial hair growth started happening (she sobbed the day that happened), so even when it was occasionally still an issue, it was hardly too bad! Then… what was it? What was it that gave her away?

Her Pesterchum was making alert noises to bring her attention to the fact that someone was pestering her. Roxy had a few good guesses as to who it was, and decided to ignore it for the time being. Pulling back from attending to her face, the teen paid attention to her body. Was that it? She knew she wasn’t the most feminine thing, she stood taller than most of the guys in school, and didn’t really have any sort of resemblance of curves… but so did a lot of other girls! Besides, the hormones were helping with that! Pressing her hands against her breasts, they were starting to come in a slight bit now! Soon she probably could go without the extra padding and stuffing without raising question. The body fat she had was starting to redistribute itself evenly. She was shaping up very well she thought!

As Roxy fondled herself in the mirror, tugging at her stomach, gripping her falsies (that she soon would have no use for anymore! Hurrah!), and scrutinizing even the most minor pores, her mother stepped in for a moment. The clack of her heel falling back, she honestly found her daughter doing this a lot. Though, it was usually back and before they discussed the issue of the teen actually being her daughter versus the son she was born. The press can say what they will about Rose, and even Roxy had to admit that she sometimes over-exaggerated the woman’s actions… she was an understanding woman.

Turning to her mother, “mom… I’m pretty, right?”

An off guard pause, and Rose, with her ever present look of silent judging, softened her expression with a small smile. “Of course you are,” she made her way across the room, wrapping her daughter in a tight hug and rubbing her back in a soothing manner. “I have the most beautiful daughter I could’ve asked for.” The teen seemed to relax at this, and her mother pulled back, raising her brows and wiping at Roxy’s face. “Even if she does currently look like she went through a hail storm.” Letting out her own laugh at this, the girl started to rub at her face a bit more herself. “Do you want to talk about it…?”

Shaking her head, she fully pulled away from her mother’s grasp. “No, no. It’s just silly kid stuff, honest. I was just worried about my ability to pass is all.”

Nothing got by Rose’s perception, but the women knew when to not press matters. “If you say so, dear…” She started to move before pausing. “Oh. I came in to ask what you wanted for dinner.”

Of course. “Weren’t you just cooking something?” Roxy couldn’t help the smile that came on her face as Rose frowned.

“I was, but there was a mishap so I figured I’d treat us to something different.” There was that pause before the word ‘different’ meaning it was just going to be the usual take out order of Chinese or maybe a pizza. “Surprise me.” There was a small moment of regret when those words left her mouth, knowing that her mother would pick up on something. Roxy was a picky girl; it was rare for her to not take the chance to demand something. 

Rose took a chance to pause and study her daughter, the daughter she was fully aware she had since a young age. When you’ve a major in psychology, you tend to pick up on things. It doesn’t matter if you chose a higher life with writing. Still, as much as the woman did love lavishing her daughter in some analytical attention, she knew when it wasn’t the time to do so. She accepted the answer.

“Whomever he is,” she paused by the door, “if he doesn’t like you for you.. he’s not worth it.” With that, the woman pulled the door behind her.

It was a nice sentiment, but Roxy still was afraid. It wasn’t her fear of telling him.. it was her fear of him all ready knowing. He was gay, right? He liked Jake! He practically sobbed when Jake and Jane started going out together! So what did that mean for her? Did she look too manly? Was she not manly enough?

One question continuously lingered… ‘Would she have been better off being a _he_?’

It was something that the girl entertained multiple times since meeting her friends. Watching them interact and begin to love one another. She always noticed boys more as a kid; like most little girls do (she’d be lying if she said she couldn’t appreciate a woman’s figure, but doubted her ability to date one). It just made things easier when she began to live her life out as one, because surely she wouldn’t have a problem finding a guy presenting as a heterosexual female, right?

Of course, things were never so easy for Roxy Lalonde. The blond fell hard and fast for the one gay boy.

She was good though! Honest! It was obvious that he would never like her back, right? Not in that way, at least. There was never an instance of her complaining about his sexuality. He liked who he liked. Jokes were thrown, but never would she be so rude as to outright say anything about his choices.

But this? This was too much.

Her computer made more noises as people pestered her. She figured she’d ignored them long enough. Moving to take a seat, Roxy saw that all of her chums were pestering her, and decided to tackle the easiest one first.

GT: Hello there ol gal!  
GT: *Wrings kerchief* Hello?  
GT: You must be busy then but please get back to me! I have to discuss something of the utmost importance with you.  
TG: hellooooo  
TG: slaps kerehcif outta hands  
GT: Ah! There you are. Ive been dealing with quite a muck ill have you know miss lalonde.  
TG: ooo noooo w/e did i do???  
GT: Dont play coy with me! What exactly happened between you and strider on your journeys home today?  
GT: The poor boy seems rather upset! He wont tell me a blasted thing.  
TG: o  
GT: Oh?  
TG: i dont wanna tkel abut it  
TG: *talk  
GT: Well while that is perfectly understandable please do confront him about it!  
GT: Chap seems right upset and im not sure why.  
TG: uuughhh  
GT: I see that you do know why.  
TG: i rly dont wnana talk bout that rite now  
GT: All right then ill let you be. Just do try and do something about it im not entirely sure how you handle him like this.

Sometimes she wonders that herself.

Closing that window, she goes to the next. Jane this time.

GG: Roxy Lalonde if you don’t answer someone I think they’re all going to assume the worst!  
GG: Are you okay?  
TG: heeeyyy yea im ok  
TG: just a lot of… stuf is goine on rigte now  
TG: *right  
GG: So I heard, there’s quite a commotion going on… Are you all right?  
TG: i think he knos  
GG: Think who knows what?  
TG: jaaaane  
GG: Serious question! I’m not enlightened on the entire situation!  
TG: dirk  
TG: i think he knos about me  
TG: my ‘condition’  
TG: (im fronwing n crying over heree btw this ime not beingw cool)  
GG: Oh… OH.  
GG: I’m really sorry to hear that. Are you sure he knows?  
TG: yea p sure  
TG: he said he liked me  
GG: … what? But that’s great! You shouldn’t be sad over that! I thought you fancied him back, right?  
TG: wll yea i do  
TG: but hesss  
TG: well u kno  
TG: into dudes  
GG: Roxy, you of all people should know that things like that can change.  
TG: well ya but!!  
TG: i didnt exect this rlly  
TG: *expect  
TG: i mean he nevre said anything about liking chics  
TG: wat if he knos wan like s me as a guy  
TG: do i not pass or soemthin  
GG: You’re more beautiful than half the school, Roxy! Of course you pass, if you hadn’t told me, I’d never had known.  
TG: would I haven bene bettr off  
TG: as a guy  
TG: soemtimds i think about thart  
TG: *sometimes  
TG: if i were a guy woudl he love me thne  
GG: You shouldn’t worry about that, he should like you for you. Guy, girl, weird grey alien with horns… It’s the fact that you’re YOU that he should like.

She smiled as she read the words on her screen. Sometimes she felt like the trust between her and Jane was horribly one sided… but it’s conversations like these where she’s reminded why they’re ‘BFFsies 4 lyf.’

GG: You need to just talk to him yourself.  
GG: For better or for worse, and no matter what happens…  
GG: We’ll have a girls night with ice cream and movies, okay?  
TG: ok  
TG: thnx jnaey ur the best  
GG: I do try! Hoo hoo hoo!  
TG: : )

She still didn’t want to do it; the girl shook and decided it was time for another drink. Her mother was surely tucked away in her study now, leaving the alcohol cabinets open for her to pillage.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late update, I really had no muse for so long... I promise to finish this, only one or two more chapters to go.  
> Also, sorry for the weird formatting I can't figure out how to fix it, and it's late so-- I'll go back through it tomorrow.
> 
> It's mostly chatlogs, sorry. Also threw in my Dirk headcanon when it comes to sexuality. Oops.

As predicted, her mother was deep into her work on another book, and the alcohol was left sitting on the table. Roxy swiped a bottle of vodka, filled up a travel mug she kept in her bedroom, before replacing the missing amount with water. Snickering to herself, she grabbed some OJ and high tailed it back to her room.  
She was going to keep it simple tonight… even if the orange beverage just reminded her of something she was dreading doing.  
Groaning, she didn’t think about that as she poured some orange juice in a cup and topped it off with her pilfered vodka. There was nothing to think about right now, romance problems? What romance problems? The only romance problem she was dealing with at the moment were that her pairings hadn’t kissed yet. Yes, that’s all. Smiling to herself, sniffling a little bit still, she sipped her crudely mixed beverage and scrolled through her favorite blogging site, ignoring the blinking messages at the bottom. She had gone on invisible a while back, but didn’t quite have the heart to actually log off.  
It was her third drink into the night when she forgot that she was supposed to be gone and offline and she started making drunk posts. Things that she couldn’t pass off as her ‘queue’ but basically liveblogging her depression and sadness at that present moment… that was when the blinking started up again. The messenger window had become a steady color after being ignored for so long before blinking back to life.  
Jolting back to reality and the thing she said she’d do hours ago, Roxy finally clicked the window. Bracing herself for the onslaught of messages to be thrown at her. She only saw the bottom half of a very long page.  
TT: Can we at least actually talk about this?  
TT: Please?  
TT: Listen, I don’t know what it means to you for me to say this, but I’m shaking over here, okay? I’m not cool at all, I’m flustered and I don’t know what to say or do for once. I’m afraid to lose you, even if you don’t return the feelings, I’m afraid of losing your friendship. Which is something I value above all else.  
TT: You’ve always been there for me, Rox. Please don’t abandon me now…  
TT: Just message me when you come on then, I guess.  
\-- timeousTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]--  
\-- timeousTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]--  
TT: Roxy, I know you’re there. Will you give me a chance now?  
Gulping down the last of her drink, she began a reply.  
TG: y im hher what situ want??  
TT: Are you drinking?  
TG: yyyy  
TT: …Fine, I guess I’ll allow you that, though I can’t say I’m pleased that I’m obviously the thing that drove you to drink. Then again, who would be okay with the thought that they were the reason anyone drank?  
TG: sry  
TG: but idk if uthes anthing 2 tlk about dikry 2 b honst  
TG: *fuck itn o more tipo correcnts from now on k  
TT: There’s a lot to talk about, Roxy. Like why you ran away from me after school today.  
TG: dont akt like u don tkno  
TT: Okay, I won’t. Because I’m not acting, I’m being genuine. I mean, yeah okay, maybe the confession wasn’t the smartest thing. It’s obvious you’ve gotten over me, but I don’t know what I did to warrant such a reaction?  
TG: stop bengm ean 3 me :(  
TT: But I’m not?  
TG: y u r ur taning me  
TT: Tanning?  
TG: *taunting whwta did is ay about typos????  
TT: Okay, that’s better, but I still don’t understand how I’m taunting you? Roxy can we actually discuss this, please?  
TG: somethgnt chandge  
TG: u used 2 knot evr think o fm e that way  
TG: cuz u kno  
TG: gay reasnogs an stuff  
TT: I’m not gay.  
TG: LE SIIIIGN  
TG: see u SAY tha but ur only ever aft gusy and i jus  
TT: I mean, yeah, I like guys. Yeah, I guess I’ve always preferred them and all that, and I’ve never really thought of a girl like that, but…  
TT: I’m not gay.  
TT: There’s more than just ‘gay’ when it comes to sexualities.  
TG: r u gonna giv me that wole ‘gray a’ talk thingy  
TT: It’s someone’s personality that matters to me, okay? I know it sounds weird, just trust me.  
TG: …  
TG: do i look lik a man  
TT: What?  
TG: yea lke do i lokok like a dude or msomthing??  
TT: Roxy, no. You’re very beautiful. You could be a model. Looks aside, your personality is beautiful, and you’re someone I’ve always aspired to and strived to be more like.  
She stopped replying for a bit because she had started up on crying again. It was just that—no one had ever really said something like that to her. She could almost really believe that he liked her, for her.  
In her absence of reply, he continued talking.  
TT: You’re really great, Rox. This is all really hard to say, but I’d appreciate if you’d at least hear me out.  
TT: You’ve always been there for me, and I really am thankful for that. So maybe just, at least just this once more? Be there for me, and listen to me whine and complain, and tell me it’s going to be all right.  
TT: Even if it isn’t…  
TG: it is  
TT: What?  
TG: it si gonna be altirhg  
TG: *alright  
TG: atl east i think so  
TG: idk it depndso nu  
TT: What do you mean?  
Stealing herself, she took deep breaths and just took a shot of her vodka without any orange juice. This would take all the confidence she had in her. Fiddling with her hair for a bit before shakily bringing her hands to the keyboard.  
TG: i dnt wann atlk about it over messages  
TG: can w meet u p tomorrow?  
TG: plz  
TT: Sure, after school?  
TG: who needs school  
TT: Sounds great. I’ll meet you at the station.  
TG: thnx  
She released a sigh of relief, and sat back. It was only a moment before she jumped up to get ready for tomorrow.


End file.
